[Forrest]

Something to edify the body of Christ.

“Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment” (John 7:24).

We’ve each done it. We look, observe, put all the pieces of someone’s life together, and then cast judgment without knowing all of the facts. We instruct others, give unwanted advice and then offer insensitive counsel without knowing all the facts. We rebuke, reprove, and reprimand someone’s behavior without knowing all of the facts. And we often share our false judgment and clouded opinion with others who are not part of the problem or the solution.

The scripture admonishes and warns us to “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment”. When we observe someone’s tired countenance, irritable disposition, or negative attitude, we do not fully know the underlying causes. We think we do, but we don’t. We do not have all of the facts involved in someone’s visible discouragement, depression, defeat, or despondency. We do not know why someone is not upbeat, chipper, and cheerful. We do not understand why they can’t be like we are.

We have no right to assume they have forsaken the Lord and His word. We have no right to assume they have stopped praying. It is wrong to assume they are not growing in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Wrong judgment and thoughtless criticism has happened to my wife who is my primary caregiver—24/7. I do not expect, or even long for, others to truly know what she does for me every day (as well as many nights), but when someone “judges” the behavior of my loyal and loving wife based on the way things “appear” instead of making “righteous” judgment, my God-given protective senses kick into high gear. I must walk in the Spirit and not the flesh in order to avoid resentment, bitterness, and the need to “get back” at them.

If you are married, you can only “try” to imagine what my wife has experienced every single day for the past 5 years by caring for me. You can “try” to imagine the natural emotional challenges she faces as she watches the man she loves (and has been married to for 26 years) change from day to day with no hopeful prognosis of things ever improving. You can “try” to imagine the normal physical stress related to caring for your spouse each day. You can even boast of “understanding” because you care, or have cared, for your spouse. But be honest, it’s not exactly the same is it? You can “try” but you’ll not understand unless you’re in her shoes.

For this brief moment, I want you to enter into the life of a caregiver by thinking about what an average, healthy person does in the course of just one day. Eat, drink, and use the restroom. Shave, brush your teeth, brush your hair, and use the restroom. Sit, stand, and use the restroom. Think. I require her assistance with everything. Getting in and out of my wheelchair and getting in and out of bed. Her rest is often disturbed at 3 A.M. because she needs to reposition my body or rub my aching legs. Every day. 24/7. I am not gainfully employed and never will be. Do you feel any fear? Perhaps some anxiety? Is it depressing? Are you a little bit discouraged? Are you glad it’s not you? How do suppose you would be holding up?

This is not a whining complaint or a pouting session. I’m certainly not seeking sympathy or someone’s shoulder to cry on. I am not murmuring against my merciful Heavenly Father who sometimes orchestrates, and certainly allows our trials in life to exist. I have not lost courage, confidence, or contentment in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ. Paula and I are closer to each other and to Him than we’ve ever been as a result of “our” suffering and although a lot remains uncertain, we trust God. “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.” We also know He is not finished writing the chapters and painting the canvas of our lives.

So before you size-up another person’s problem. Before you judge their attitude, disposition, or character flaws. Stop and realize that you probably don’t know everything. It is probably wise to simply listen and not try to fix the problem. It is prudent to “believe the best” and not assume the worst.

By the way, did I fail to mention that I speak from personal experience? God has used the severity of a trial to strip away my critical and judgmental spirit. He has softened my heart so He can mold me into the image of Christ.

“Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man” (Colossians 4:6).